This is the story of a wonderful man and of the woman who loved him from the beginning to the end and beyond, if there is a beyond …
I'm sure most of you are familiar with that wonderful musical, South Pacific … in it there is a lovely song that, to me, and then to Ken, became especially significant, for that is the way I met my husband …
Some enchanted evening …
You may see a stranger …
You may see a stranger …
Across a crowded room …
And somehow you know …
You know even then …
That somewhere you'll see him, again and again …
Some enchanted evening …
Someone may be laughing …
You may hear him laughing …
Across a crowded room …
And night after night …
As strange as may seem …
The sound of his laughter – will seep in your dreams …
Who can explain it, who can tell you why …
Fools give you reasons …
Wise men never try …
Some enchanted evening …
When you find your True Love …
When you feel him call you …
Across a crowded room …
Then fly to his side …
And make him your own …
Or all through your life you will be all alone …
Once you have found him, never let him go …
Once you have found him, never let him go …
Anyhow, obviously, our Love did not belong in this imperfect Earth of ours, at least not for long.
On October 4th, 2005, very soon it will be five years ago, at 3:10 pm, the UofT and the world lost one of the best professors and human beings it had. As for me, I lost my wonderful husband, my best friend, and the love of my life.
During these five interminable and incredibly painful years, I have only been alive on the surface, for inside, I have been dead, my only hope being to join him soon, wherever he is.
To describe Ken, especially for me, is like trying to describe the colours of a rainbow, or of a sunset. So, what can I say about Ken that anyone who knew him already does not know? He was a very intelligent, modest and gifted man in more ways than just computer science. He was kind, gentle, humble and generous. He was patient and understanding with everyone beyond belief! He had a witty, dry and quick sense of humour, which I adored; all of you, his colleagues, students, and friends knew that. And I certainly knew it best and will miss him until I die.
Therefore, I do wish to thank all of you wonderful people who loved and helped my husband through his two major illnesses, the last one being the one that eventually took his life.
Therefore, I do wish to thank all of you wonderful people who loved and helped my husband through his two major illnesses, the last one being the one that eventually took his life.
Mostly and above all, I wish to thank Dr. Derek Corneil, former department chair of UofT Computer Science and my husband’s best friend, helper and supporter through Ken’s close encounters with Death.
Then, I wish to thank the recent UofT Computer Science department chairs, Eugene Fiume and Craig Boutilier, and the unforgettable former UofT president Robert Prichard, who were there for Ken at his first encounter with death, as well as the Dean of Arts and Science, Marsha Chandler, who called the Dean of Medicine, Arnie Aberman, who made sure that Ken got the best specialist in the field, Dr. John Trachtenberg, his Urologist, together with Dr. Ian Tannock (Oncologist) and their wonderful staff of assistants and nurses at the Princess Margaret Hospital. Dr. John Ross, cardiologist at the Toronto General Hospital, was a great help as well, in our desperate quest for a miracle. I also wish to thank Dr. Celestia Higano, Oncologist at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, recommended by Ken’s good friends, Dr. Ed Lazowska and Dr. John Zahorian. John, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for the scholarship you named after Ken. I am sure Ken would have appreciated it.
Then I wish to thank Dr. Daniel Horne (Urologist in Denver), and the doctors who attended him in Denver, Colorado in his first encounter with death (open heart surgery): Dr. Daniel Smith (surgeon) and Dr. Arthur Levine (cardiologist). They saved his life and I will be eternally grateful to them and to their wonderful staff at the Swedish Medical Centre in Denver.
Ken had many friends wherever he went and I want to mention and thank as well Dr. Zhang Sen and Dr. Chen Gen Cai at the University of Hang Zhou, China, as well as computer science graduate student at Berkeley, Daisy Zhe Wang and her parents. All of them were so kind and helpful with homeopathic medicines and constant emotional support.
Finally, and needless to say, I wish to thank very much as well, Dr. Alaa Serry, who has been, together with Dr. Corneil, a true friend through this horrible, and for me, never ending nightmare.
I thank you all with all of my heart and the best I can wish for all of you is that you or yours will never be tragically marked by Fate as Ken and I have been.
Ken was struck by Death too soon without needing to be, as there is a good chance he might have survived, had a simple blood test called PSA been given to him yearly, together with the regular examination. But it was not done until it was too late and the cancer had already metastasized. Therefore, Ken died, and I died with him.
In the Memorial for Ken I could not deliver this message, as I was overcome and eventually became unconscious and had to be taken to the hospital.
I know some of you did not understand and/or even disapproved of the way I was dressed for the occasion in an all-black South Western outfit.
Well, you see, not only did my husband buy it for me in Denver, but also he made me, through my love for him, into a woman of Colorado, much the same as he became a Man of La Mancha, through his love for me. In fact it is only fitting since he had a lot of Don Quijote in him.
Before they took me in the ambulance, the only words I could utter, with a very great effort was to recite the words of that old song by Gilbert Bécaud,
Et maintenant… que vais- je faire? Maintenant…que tu es parti,
Tu m’as laissé …
La terre entière …
Mais la terre …
Sans toi c’est petite …
And, for those not that familiar with French,
And now my love …
What am I to do?
Now, that you are gone…
You have left me…
The whole world …
But the world, without you …
It’s too small…
I always loved this song, though how was I to know that it would become so very painfully true for me...
One of Ken’s last words to me were “Keep on travelling for me, I will be there with you”
The problem is that that is hardly enough without him, as hard as I have tried since then, and I keep on trying ...
Farewell, my love…
Te adoro… Please wait for me…
Carmen Sevcik
Oct 4th, 2010
